OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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