I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I want to make a zoo with you.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
