so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
