i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower