I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?