Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess

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  (603): i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess http://tfl.nu/ousq
  Replies (24) Good night (913) Bad night (2668)
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  (646): View more from New York

  So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."

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  (646): So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit." http://tfl.nu/5gls
  Replies (31) Good night (1101) Bad night (4834)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  meow

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.

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  (402): meow (1-402): WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD. http://tfl.nu/2v4y
  Replies (96) Good night (4973) Bad night (1388)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care

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  (307): Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care http://tfl.nu/5v6y
  Replies (89) Good night (2061) Bad night (3589)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add

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  (608): Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add http://tfl.nu/yo24
  Replies (6) Good night (3070) Bad night (814)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?

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  (519): Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin? http://tfl.nu/eyam
  Replies (14) Good night (2876) Bad night (976)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.

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  (757): I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment. http://tfl.nu/iaxy
  Replies (9) Good night (1678) Bad night (692)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome

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  (931): i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome http://tfl.nu/562n
  Replies (5) Good night (1637) Bad night (509)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  But he was really hot

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  Glad you don't have HIV

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  (425): I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again (1-425): But he was really hot (1-425): Glad you don't have HIV http://tfl.nu/se36
  Replies (4) Good night (405) Bad night (885)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness

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  (617): I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness http://tfl.nu/3h8d
  Replies (2) Good night (762) Bad night (316)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay

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  (302): I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay http://tfl.nu/8522
  Replies (5) Good night (402) Bad night (751)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?

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  (971): Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art? http://tfl.nu/i4so
  Replies (4) Good night (477) Bad night (231)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner

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  (724): I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner http://tfl.nu/mu1f
  Replies (2) Good night (246) Bad night (487)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea

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  (203): I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea http://tfl.nu/mb1p
  Replies (0) Good night (277) Bad night (369)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper

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  (318): she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper http://tfl.nu/ei3r
  Replies (3) Good night (721) Bad night (262)

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