Texts From Last Night

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  (424): View more from California

  The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.

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  (424): The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration. http://tfl.nu/aroj
  Replies (6) Good night (949) Bad night (1667)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you

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  (781): Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you http://tfl.nu/mzki
  Replies (13) Good night (1307) Bad night (987)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger

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  (843): so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger http://tfl.nu/soaz
  Replies (12) Good night (647) Bad night (1113)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot

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  (214): I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot http://tfl.nu/eus9
  Replies (14) Good night (4690) Bad night (1249)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.

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  (505): you were trying to give my penis an indian burn. http://tfl.nu/5vh0
  Replies (36) Good night (900) Bad night (8697)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.

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  (320): I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it. http://tfl.nu/sdid
  Replies (11) Good night (5705) Bad night (1460)
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  (818): View more from California

  I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.

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  (818): I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head. http://tfl.nu/x66l
  Replies (20) Good night (7921) Bad night (1344)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?

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  (478): how did he go about obtaining bull sperm? http://tfl.nu/if4u
  Replies (12) Good night (1221) Bad night (3526)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list

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  (647): Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list http://tfl.nu/yikq
  Replies (23) Good night (5113) Bad night (1011)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened

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  (303): The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened http://tfl.nu/m273
  Replies (3) Good night (3775) Bad night (1323)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.

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  (570): I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women. (570): You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force. http://tfl.nu/ij9q
  Replies (6) Good night (1244) Bad night (580)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet

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  (708): I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet http://tfl.nu/9ro9
  Replies (2) Good night (854) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.

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  (256): Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people. http://tfl.nu/64sc
  Replies (1) Good night (955) Bad night (330)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson

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  (630): I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson http://tfl.nu/858l
  Replies (8) Good night (789) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.

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  (812): He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out. http://tfl.nu/a5km
  Replies (4) Good night (356) Bad night (200)

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