i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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