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• (970): View more from Colorado

  The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.

  Fav 23 813 3556

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true

  Fav 34 5992 1170

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.

  Fav 15 1800 5301

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• (415): View more from California

  There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.

  Fav 35 7935 1687

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?

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• (214): View more from Texas

  um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.

  Fav 6 2029 905

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.

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• (310): View more from California

  I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (760): View more from California

  Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver

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• (954): View more from Florida

  I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else

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• (626): View more from California

  My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,

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• (925): View more from California

  You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush

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• (714): View more from California

  I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST

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• (347): View more from New York

  Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes

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