I wannas sexs uuuuu
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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