This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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