yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
