we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Text me some of your sweat
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
