i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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