May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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