How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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