yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
