dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize