Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize