two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
