he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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