Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize