i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
