We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
