Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Randomize
