I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
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Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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