But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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