I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
