Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actions speak louder than pants.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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