when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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