it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
