drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
her facebook's as public as her vagina
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
