margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize