should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
