New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
