Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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