I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
