I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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