it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
