used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
