She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
