are you still at the devil's house?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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