I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
