so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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