i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Randomize
