We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
