I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
