What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
