My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
