We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We talked him into tasing himself.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
