I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
