Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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