I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
