Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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