is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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