Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
