I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
