dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize