We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
All the doctor said was why
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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