so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize