conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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