i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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