You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
