i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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