I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
