worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
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