I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
420 ftw
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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