they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
