Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
