mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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