so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
